Closer... ;)

The Family that Prays together...Stays together... ;)

It was ester sunday night....this year....hmmmm...after dinner... ;))

The persons left in our house were hmmmm....me, mama and papa( haha..ng abut xa...nyaahaha!)...the two boys...my two brothers made their way to the church (seventh-day adventist) early in the afternoon for a...hmmm...seminar?..hmm..perhaps, some kind of a lecture...maybe they were just bored inside the house so that's why they decided to go there...haha...Well, they've been active in the church lately so I think they're now getting used to it..a good thing, right?..hehe!...we dont celebrate the easter sunday like the way others do...although we had planned to go to the beach since we were "again" somehow complete...so sad that my sister is so far from us...well...hehe...somehow, I know she's enjoying her life now...although I know she tends to feel bad or miserable sometimes....haaaayz....

It was after dinner...hmmm...as I have said...haahahah....as I was washing the plates..I began to hear my mom singing gospel songs...hmmm...worship time I thought....haaayz...I was really not in the mood for that..since my two brothers were not around....I kind of felt irritated..."a devils' tickle"...ahahaha!...but I controlled myself...kicking out the devil lurking inside of me and dedicated that moment to our beloved God....(anyway, the whole time should really be celebrated for Jesus' resurrection, right?..hehe) It was then that I realized....that it was just the three of us singing songs together....I felt good...knowing the fact that there was mama and papa...and just me as their child....It was really something...I never had the chance to have a quality time with just the two of them...I felt really protected...I was teary-eyed embracing the moment that I am with them ...as if nothing bad happened in our family...as if there's no tomorrow...as if nothing bad is going to happen...(in fact...I was planning to talk to them sincerely....just the three of us..about things that we really should be dealing with...I wanted to cry...I wanted to embrace them and tell them how much I loved them and why things should be happening...why such awful things happened...all that and more...I wanted to confide to them all the bad things and of course the good ones that are happening in my life....but I just didnt have the courage...I thought that somehow..we were better off that way...)...

haaayz...when it comes to family issues...I am just so vulnerable that I always tend to breakdown and cry...I always end up weak...I just cant find the courage to tell my family how important they are to me....how I just cant go on without them...how miserable would I become not having them to spend my life with...I am not really so showy of my feelings to them..especially to my mom...we are not open as "friends"...maybe..as mother and daughter alone...huhu...maybe because of those past issues or...hmmm...you know...basta ah..that's just hindering me from doing the things that I know I should do...and I wanted to do too..somehow...haayz....I am still drowned and lost....and I dont know why....but I know that somehow...I tend to become insensitive and numb that I always end up hurting them...bohoo!...tsktskstsk.. :(

and that time...when we were singing songs together...sharing bible verses and many more...I felt there was nothing so great in life than have a quality time spent with your family....I just cant think of something else...just that moment...and the three of us...haha!..and when we were about to have our closing prayer....the two boys arrived..just in time!...haha!...so we really did pray together and end the night up with a satisfying smile...hehe!