"Blessed Madnezz" ^_^

I'm really not up for some kind of a very interesting post right now. All I want to do is feel free in sharing you what I feel and think as of the moment.. hehehe... been thinking earlier whether I should post about this or not but I just ended up doing so. Not so comfy sharing the real me or the detailed happening of my life; though I may have shared some personal stuffs here, those were not as hmmm... "very personal or in-reality-events-of-my-life" as this one... heheehe... :D Right now, I just feel like sharing things about me and what I value the most in my life - Family and friends... and mst especoally, the effects of my dearest first love, the one and only man that I'm sure I can trust my whole heart and life with - God. :D

Just before this month (november) ends, lot of wonderful things happened to me. had so much fun woth my college and office friends, been working contentedly, gaining the sleep and rest that I need though just a bit of it.. haha.. better than nothing at all... accomplishing things I thought I couldnt actually do, reaching some of my goals or better to call it "challenges" to myself i.e not being late for a week as a start of not being late at all or never again... hehehe...things like that and the many more. But the most memorable and fulfilling event that happened to me just before another month would come rushing us all (well, December's really fast-approaching), is my bonding with my "whole" family and some relatives... haha... Great God!

After I got a hold of my bonus, I decided that my family should go to the beach with some of our relatives that we really missed a lot. And talking about doing that got me really so excited since it's been ages ago that we last did such a thing.. Maybe during my grade school as far as I can remember.. or if my memory serves me right... lol. And with the fact that some of my relatives had a misundertanding with my mom... geez.. good thing time heals all or if not, most of the wounds.. heheehe... :D

It was a reunion of my family (mom, dad, 2 brothers - sad to say my sister is not with us... just imagine how envious she was.. lol :P) with some of the relatives from both sides. I was actually a bit hesitant to make it happen since I felt some tension from my mom and she too was not really that approved of my idea. If not for her 'sick" mom that kinda needs some fresh air and exposure to the ebach, she would not really go with us. heheehe... :D

I arranged the whole thing at my own expense. haha.. Of course, I was incharge of the whole thing.. My mom never interrupted me nor made her way to help me out. Though I had a lot of things in mind to buy out of my bonus, I felt happier with the thought that I'll be spending much of it for my family. And seeing how proud they are.. it's all just worth it.. heheeh.. Thanks be to God.. ;)

Oh my, I never thought it could be that exhausting... from planning where to go, how to go there and what to take with us (food and the like, etc.), it really got me weak but due to my excitement, it was nothing... The part where I need to do the shopping was the least that I liked. I felt like all the things from the grocery store were swirling up around my head, some were laughing, iritating me, while some were begging to be puchased.. lol... I'm just not fond doing it since I know that I have the tendency to just buy most of the things I like or I think my family would like or need. I'm such a big spender if but a hesitant one.. hahaaha... :D

And so then me and my family had a lot of at the beach! weeee! From driving to the beach, sharing laughters, stories and food up to the fun of swimming, everything were really worth my exhausted body but happy, peaceful and relaxed mind and spirit. I intend to do a lot of more productive things or bonding moments with my family and friends and also to myself... hehe... I am now doing my best to motivate myself in doing the things that I need to do or think and do the things that I need and want to do. Been searching or waiting for such motivation to come without realizing that It's only me who could do or give that to myself.. hehe... All I have to do is make a detailed plan or set goals to make things work out... haha... seriously? lol :P

Am I dying?.. lol... haha... I dont have to wait for that.. We all should not... Doing things that could make you say "I can now die or that I'm already prepared to die." in the end, is a lot more meaningful than doing things you think you should just because you're dying or about to die. Evwryday is a challenge for us. We may have plans for tommorrow; but, are we that certain that another day would actually come? What makes us sure that we can wake up the next morning? No matter how much or how well you pray, how motivated you are to wake up in the morning for your loved one's sake and the like, you can truly do nothing if it's already your time to leave. God is really the grandest master and genius of all to have thought of the things that we deserve and make it happen. Nothing's really certain in this world so while we still have time to do the things that we want and need to, better make them happen before it's too late.. ;)

Anyway, so much for that. I wont be telling everything or in details for I think this is not a place for me to spill things out though it might be for some.. haha.. I already made another blog which is more personalised or such that would ink the deepest thoughts of mine (but in just a simple way of writing.. lol). I dont think I would let anybody read it.. sorry to have mentioned doing so despite the thing that I'm not gonna share it.. hahaha... Maybe it'll serve as my online diary (I've thought about doing that since I no longer have a time scribbling it to papers and that I think I really need to put my thoughts and feelings into writing or else I'd burst since I dont actually share a lot of them openly even to those people I trust.. maybe not now.. not yet.. hehe) and whoever I know could find a way to it is lucky enough... naks... hahaaha... :P

And before it is too late, let me thank you all: Mama (know that I always love you and the whole family though I'm not that showy or if you think or feel that I just care less... I'm sorry too), the rest of the family and relatives, my real-life friends (school and office barkadas), those people that really had an effect on me (bad or good, inspiring or irritating, etc. lol), people I came to know online and all the people who knew and knows me and vice versa; most especially, to Him.